Commentary on ACIM Lesson 138

©Rev. David Seacord

 

Heaven is the decision I must make.

 

 

Maintaining my sanity....  the phrase (which is near the end of the lesson) sticks in my mind, ringing...

 

Is this not what we are all now doing, in doing this Course?  Gaining (or, re-gaining) and then 'maintaining our sanity' in this world.  As I see it, it's 'the only way' to be able to live that is free (or at least 'more free') of the illusions of the ego.  And it seems to me sometimes I am doing nothing else.  That life is, moment by moment, always a choice of either Love or fear.  And does the fear ever produce sanity?  Look and see....  if you can find ONE instance where fear has produced actual sanity, please show it to me.  For I can find none....  

 

Back in the mid-1980's when I was birthing 'The Love Declaration', I was clear that the entire world was operating on an 'owners manual' that was fear derived in it's totality.  That is why the first line of that writing is: I am your partner in awakening from fear.  For that is the true work we have with each other. When I am being who I really am, that is who I am being.  

 

Today I had a beautiful moment of sanity, or 'recognition'.  As I drove by a country intersection past a car waiting to enter the highway, my eyes met the eyes of the driver of the other car for a brief instant.  There was a conscious connection (of recognition that we both existed) between us in that instant.  Nothing unusual, right? But as I drove on, I replayed the moment, and then replayed it again, only differently.  I imagined that I had been 'awake enough' to have expressed something more real... maybe to have waved at the other driver, or that I had smiled at him, like he was my best friend.  Suddenly, I was 'tripping' (in my imagination only [just to be clear :-) ]) and a huge insight opened about JOY.   I saw that if I had waved and smiled, and then waved and smiled at the next and the next and the next and the next etc, that if I did that, I would be BEING JOY 'FULL'.   And that that kind of JOY is all about BEING COMPLETELY CONNECTED TO EVERYTHING WITH NO FEAR.  No wonder we don't act like that!   The world has taught us that that would be crazy, or 'dangerous'.  That we would be 'locked up' (to protect the world from catching our disease, no less, Right?)   

 

But that is what people that are truly awake are like!  They are 'fearlessly connected to everything', and fully expressing it, right in the middle of the world.  This is 'the reversal of the world'.  Not to scare you, but this is where we are going (although your version of being completely and fearlessly connected may be different, and not as 'out of the box' as mine, and that's OK...  God will direct you perfectly too...) 

 

Now, there's a song waiting to be written....    "No need to fear, no need to hide, nothing to change....and God will direct you perfectly too..."  (Add your own melody....)

 

Enough for now.  Peace always. 

 

Namaste, 

 

David 

__________________

And now, my lovingly edited 'first person' version....

 

Lesson 138

Heaven is the decision I must make.

In this world Heaven is 'a choice' i 'have', but only because in this world i 'believe' there are alternatives to choose between. i 'think' that all things have an opposite, and what i want i choose (and what i don't want, i don't choose). And logically, if Heaven exists, there must be hell as well, for contradiction is the way i make what i perceive, and what i think is real.

True Creation knows no opposite. But here (in this world) is opposition part of being "real." It is this strange (mis)perception of the truth that makes the choice of Heaven seem to be the same as the relinquishment of hell. It is not really thus. Yet what is true in God's creation cannot enter here until it is reflected in some form the world can understand. Truth cannot come where it could (or will) only be perceived with fear (instead of Love). For this would be the error 'truth can be brought to illusions' (which is impossible). Opposition (to the truth) makes the truth unwelcome, and it cannot come (unless/until it is welcomed).

'Choice' is the obvious escape from what appears as opposites.Decision lets the one 'chosen' (of the conflicting goals) become the aim of effort and expenditure of time. Without a decision, time is but a waste and effort is dissipated. Effort is spent for nothing in return, and time goes by without results. There is no sense of gain, for nothing is accomplished; nothing learned.

I need to be reminded that when I think a thousand choices are confronting me, there is really only one choice to be made. And even this only seems to be a choice. I would choose to not confuse myself with all the doubts that myriad decisions would induce. I will make only one. And when that one is made, I will perceive it was no choice at all. For truth is true, and nothing else is true. There is no opposite to choose instead.  There is no contradiction to the truth.

Choosing depends on learning. And the truth cannot be learned, but only recognized. In recognition its acceptance lies, and as it is accepted it is known. But knowledge is beyond the goals we seek to teach within the framework of this course. Mine are teaching goals, to be attained through learning how to reach them, what they are, and what they offer me. Decisions are the outcome of my learning, for they rest on what I have accepted as the truth of what I am, and what my 'needs' must be.

In this insanely complicated world, Heaven appears to take the form of choice, rather than merely being what it is. Of all the choices I have tried to make this is the simplest, most definitive and prototype of all the rest, the one which settles all decisions. If I could decide the rest, this one remains unsolved. But when I solve this one, the others are resolved with it, for all decisions but conceal this one by taking different forms. Here is the final and the only choice in which is truth accepted or denied.

So I begin today by considering the choice that time was made to help me make. Such is its holy purpose, now transformed fromthe intent I gave it (that it be a means for demonstrating hell is real, hope changes to despair, and life itself must in the end be overcome by death). In death alone are opposites resolved, for ending opposition is to die. And thus salvation must be seen as death, for life is seen as conflict. Thus I perceive that to resolve the conflict is to end 'my life' as well.

 

In my dream of being 'a separated one', these mad beliefs can gain an unconscious hold of great intensity, and grip my mind with terror and anxiety so strong that it will not relinquish its ideas about its own protection. It must be 'saved from salvation', threatened to 'be safe', and magically armored 'against' truth. And these decisions are made unconsciously and unaware, in order to keep them 'safely undisturbed'; hidden and apart from question and from reason and from doubt.

In an opposite manner, heaven is consciously chosen. But this choice cannot be authentically made until all the alternatives are accurately seen and clearly understood. Therefore, all that is 'veiled in shadows' must be 'raised to understanding' (to be judged again, this time with Heaven's help). And all mistakes in judgment(i.e., 'sins') that the mind had made 'before Now' are now reopened to correction, and the truth then 'dismisses them as causeless' (for they never actually even existed). Now are they become 'completely without effects'. And they cannot be concealed or hidden any longer either, because their nothingness is recognized.

The conscious choice of Heaven is made (as surely as is the ending of the fear of hell is made), when it is raised from its protective shield of unawareness, and is brought to light. Who but I can decide for me between the clearly seen and the unrecognized?And why would I fail to make a  correct choice between such alternatives (when only one is seen as valuable; the other as a wholly worthless thing, a 'but imagined source' of guilt and pain?) Why would I hesitate to make a choice like this? And I shall not hesitate to choose today.

Today, I make the choice for Heaven as I wake, and spend five minutes making sure that I have made the one decision that is sane. I recognize that in doing this, I make a conscious choice between A. what has existence and B. what has nothing 'but an appearance of the truth'. Its pseudo-being, when brought to what is real, is flimsy and transparent in the holy light of truth. It holds no terror for me now, for what was made enormous, vengeful, pitiless with hate, demands the obscurity for fear (to be invested there). Now it is recognized as but a foolish and trivial mistake (which calls only for correction).

Before I close my eyes in sleep tonight, I will reaffirm the choice that I have made each hour in between. And now I will give the last five minutes of my waking day to the decision with which I awoke. As every hour passed, I have declared my choice again, in a brief quiet time devoted to maintaining my sanity. And finally, I close the day with this thought, acknowledging I chose but what my soul truly desires:

Heaven is the decision I now make. 
I make it now, and will not change my mind, 
because it is the only thing I truly desire.