Commentary on ACIM Lesson 126

©2010 Rev. David Seacord

 

All that I give is given to myself.

 

 

"There is only one of us here"..... At the time I first hear Prasad utter these words, they entered me like a stunning revelation.  Yes, I still continually re-join the normally superficial thinking of the world of appearances and pretense and forget.  Yet my inner teacher always leads me into opportunities to remember, and more and more consistently, I do.  It's easiest with 'strangers' who I don't know and 'I know will soon be gone', and hardest with 'family' with whom I have a lifetimes history which often covers up the Now.  My teacher is like a musician that plays me through all the ranges, working to even out my tonal response to equanimity whatever the situation.  

 

My little test today was around an unexpected flat tire....  didn't notice it upon entering my trustworthy but beatup 4 x 4 Sidekick, but sure did before I'd moved a couple feet.  Didn't get upset.  (Good start).  Got out of car, and inspected/verified the situation.  Stayed calm.  (Good).   Moved the car slowly back into the shade so I wouldn't be working in near 100 degree direct sun.  Got out the tools, started to jack up the car, then remembered I should break the nuts free before raising.  Did that.  Nuts felt 'wierd', stiff.   Started to jack up the car again, than my 'voice for God' (who is a good mechanic too) suggested I check the size of my spare.  I do, remembering as I did that was a slightly different size.  Right.  That means (since the flat was on the rear drive wheels) that I would have to put the spare on a front wheel, and use the current front wheel as the spare for the back wheel.  So twice as much work.  And the nearest tire shop probably closed in not to long, maybe 45 minutes.  So I thought about cheating....  if I drove slow it probably would be ok and not hurt the transaxle.  Got quiet and checked in.  Got "Don't cheat".  Accepted that verdict without resisting it.  (Good).  Moved the jack up to the front, removed the front tire, put the off-sized spare on the front wheel, dropped the car back to the ground, remembered to double check the torque on the lug nuts.  (Very Good).  My sister from Connecticut called.  I 'listened' but I missed the mark a bit.  I was a little short, a little not present, a little in resistance to her request (which added a 'Mother's Day' gift item for Mom onto my 'to do' list before leaving in the morning for New Mexico).  But I didn't say NO.  Actually, I said YES ....  She 'let me get back to work'...(I had 'made up a complaint about the situation with the tire' as I had talked to her.... which was just old patterns running.... inside the family we egoically 'complain' to each other like 'it's the truth' and usually don't 'call ourselves on it'....  I won't go into it right now--- you have a family?  Then you know. It's called 'family politics'..  :-)  

 

Back to work, jacked up the rear again and then discovered the lug nuts that had felt wierd WERE.  Several were apparently 'crossthreaded'.  So I 'had' to block the tire again so I could add the sweat-producing torque to the lug nuts to force them off.  Internally (as I sweated), my mind was trying to find 'someone to blame for this'---whoever had been 'just doing their job badly' and who had crossthreaded MY lug nuts onto MY tire studs in a way that maybe had ruined them which was going to cost ME more money and MY time when I didn't have time for funky stuff like this!!!  (My Voice for God was probably not so impressed with this....) I noticed that and told my mind to quit complaining, reminding it to BE HERE NOW, and WITH WHAT IS.  (Good.  Back on track).  Finally got the stubborn lug nuts off, and the front tire mounted on the rear.  Was guided to examine both the studs and the lug nuts and try to match the best condition lugs to the best condition studs... no use creating further damage.  Said 'Thank you God' (for the assistance).  Got the lugs back on.  They seemed ok.  Great.  

 

Drive the two miles to the tire shop.  They are still open but clearly getting ready to close.  I do a 'three point landing' in front of their main stall (which let them know I was there), hopped out and pulled out the flat, saying/pointing "There's the nail.  Can you do it right now?"  "Sure, no problem" and off he goes into the shop with the tire.  He's not "my brother" to me yet, but...well... it's kool.  The manager comes out.  He's the guy I 'didn't like' the time I had come to this shop a few months ago.  I check in inside.  Give up the past.  Great.  New upload.  Fresh start.  'Hi, how's it going?" I say.  We talk about what is happening, and what I need to have happen (all the tires back where they started from).  In tire ala carte talk,  each extra is extra, and I could imagine the bill going up.  Out of the blue, I heard mySelf saying, "Hey, maybe you'd like to trade....  Don't say no till you see what I have... and I led him back to my rear door, flipped off the insulated pad that was covering my box of small art prints, and said "I am a really good art painter, and you can have your choice of any of these if you want to trade..."  I was flipping through the images so he got a sense...   "Bet you don't have an artist offering to trade every day, huh... " I said.  He smiled. "No, not really".  "Well, it's up to you, either way works".  "I think we can take care of you" he said back.  

 

I didn't know what that last statement meant, but the work progressed quickly, and my sister called back to let me know I was off the hook... she had found (via internet, I guess) a local florist to do the deed (with Chocolates) on the big day.  I said Great, and forgot to apologize for being a poo.  She forgave me without a word.  That's brotherly love.  

 

Time to pay the bill.  I go up to the counter.  How much?  Oh, I'll trade you, the manager says.  Great!  Out we go to the box of prints...  I don't ask how much the bill actually was....  V for G just has me say "In this row they are twenty, and those are ten.  You can have one of these or two of those.  He choose a ten dollar one and he says "I really like this one".  OK, I say, but you can have another too, if you want.  He calls over the worker that did the job.  'You want a print?  Choose one from this pile."  The worker chooses one with great pleasure.  We thank each other.  The Manager notices the poetry called 'The Love Declaration' through the back plastic.  My V for G says with my mouth, "I am a minister too.  That's what my ministry is about.  I give it out with the prints to everybody."  "Oh. Great, fine."  And with that, I am on my way....again.  To the next 'unexpected' problem containing it's unexpected gifts....

 

The Love Declaration

--A Covenant--

 

I am your partner 

in awakening from fear.

From this moment on,

at all times, 

under all conditions, 

I declare I will be,

for all beings, 

A Conscious Source 

of Absolute Love,

and, 

I promise

I will serve

only this Love,

in you, 

in me, 

and in All, 

no matter what,

for the rest of my life.

 

(It's a long story, but back in 1986 when I wrote the above, that was the birth of my true being.  I'll share more about it with you as we continue down the road....)

 

Clearly today, all that I gave was given to myself.  Gratefully, this I teach, that I may also fully learn.

 

Namaste,

 

David

________________________________________

Edited First Person Version

Lesson 126

All that I give is given to myself.

Today's idea, which is completely alien to both my ego and my thinking about the world, is crucial to the thought reversal process that this course is bringing about in me. When I accept this statement fully, there will be no longer any problems in the areas of complete forgiveness, certainty of goal, and sure direction. I will understand the means by which salvation comes to me, and will not hesitate to use it in each moment of the Now.

Let me consider what I do 'believe' now, in place of this idea. Itseems to me that other people are apart from me, and able to behave in ways which have no bearing on my thoughts, nor mine on theirs. Therefore, my attitudes have no effect on them, and their appeals for help are not in any way related to my own. I further think that they can 'sin' without affecting my perception of myself, while I however, can judge their sin, and yet somehow remain apart from condemnation and at peace.

As an ego in a body, when I "forgive" a sin, there is no gain to me directly. I give charity to one unworthy, merely to point out that I am better, on a higher plane than he whom I forgive. He has not earned my charitable tolerance, which I bestow on one unworthy of the gift, because his sins have lowered him beneath a true equality with me. He has no claim on my forgiveness. It holds out a gift to him, but hardly to myself.

Thus viewed, forgiveness is basically unsound; a charitable whim, benevolent yet undeserved, a gift bestowed at times, at other times withheld. Unmerited, withholding it is just, nor is it fair that I should suffer when it is withheld. The sin that I forgave is not my own. Someone apart from me committed it. And if I then am gracious unto him by giving him what he does not deserve, the gift is no more mine than was his sin.

If this be true, forgiveness has no grounds on which to rest dependably and sure. It is an eccentricity, by which I sometimes choose to give indulgently an undeserved reprieve. Yet it also remains my 'right' to let the sinner not escape the justified repayment for his sin....  

Here is the conundrum....do I actually think that the Lord of Heaven would allow the world's salvation to depend on a scenario like this? Would not His care for me be very small indeed, if my salvation rested on such a whim?

Therefore, I see I do not understand forgiveness. As I see it, it is but a check upon overt attack, without requiring correction in my mind. It cannot give me peace as I currently perceive it. It is not a means for my release from what I see in someone other than myself. It has no power to restore my unity with him to my awareness. It is not what God intended His forgiveness to be for me.

Not having given Him the gift He asks of me, I cannot recognize His gifts, and then I think He has not given them to me. Yet would He ask me for a gift unless it was for me? Could He be satisfied with empty gestures, and evaluate such petty gifts as worthy of His Son? Salvation is a better gift than this. And true forgiveness, as the means by which salvation is attained, must heal the mind that gives it, for giving is receiving. What remains as unreceived has therefore not really been given, but what has been given in truth must have been received, for this is the Divine Law.

Today I will commit to understanding the truth that 'giver and receiver are the same'. I will need help to make this meaningful, because it is so alien to the thoughts to which I am accustomed. But the Help I need is here with me. I will give Him my faith today, and ask Him that He share my practicing in truth today. And my inner teacher says truthfully that if I only catch a tiny glimpse of the release that lies in the idea I practice for today, this is truly a day of glory for the world.

I shall give fifteen minutes twice today to a disciplined attempt to understand today's idea. It is the key thought by which forgiveness takes its proper place in my priorities. It is the key thought that will release my mind from every bar to what forgiveness means, and lets me realize its worth to me.

In silence, I shall close my eyes upon 'the world that does not understand forgiveness', and seek sanctuary in 'the quiet place where thoughts are transformed and false beliefs laid down'. I will repeat today's idea, and ask for help in understanding what it really means. I will be willing to be taught. I will be glad to hear the Voice of truth and healing speak to me, and I will understand the words He speaks, and recognize He speaks my own truth to me.

As often as I can, I shall remind myself I have a goal today; an aim which makes this day of special value to myself and all my brothers. I will not let my mind forget this goal for long, but will remember to tell myself:

All that I give is given to myself. The Help I need to learn that this is true is with me now. And I will trust in Him.

Then, I will spend a quiet moment, opening my mind to His correction and His Love. And what I hear of Him I will accept as true, for what He gives will be received by me.